Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
