I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
