I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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