Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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