I think I died a long time ago.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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