i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
