i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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