I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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