how can u be prego again
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
