we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
