I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
