College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
