Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
