You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
