I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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