my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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