Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
