He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
