Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
