was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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