It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
