Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Come share oat with me in your robe
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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