he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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