She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
