I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
