ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
