a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
