You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
