i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
