I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
