ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
