Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
