It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
