we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
