I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
