I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
