is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
