I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
