He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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