i may or may not be watching the land before time
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
