I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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