im drinking this country out of the recession.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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