That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize