Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
