you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
