So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
