we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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