Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Randomize
