**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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