i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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