It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
