people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
